Crack Ficlets
by Takayu
Summary: In which many things happen: Ch. 1 Genesis usually comes back from missions with good stories...then theres the ones like this.


Crack ficlets

Summary: Sometimes, Genesis comes back from missions with some great stories...then there's ones like this.

Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, or form have any affiliation with any character featured in Final Fantasy VII (aside from my impossibly great fandom love of most of the charracters). No profit being made from this, blah blah blah, you know the drill.

Warnings (because this really NEEDS them): Crack, crack, crack. Includes crude humor, talk of tiny penises, one drug, a possibly OoC Genesis (who I consider to be slightly bipolar anyways, so it kinda works), and an Angeal that makes interesting observations! Yay for parallels and lo blows, yo!

A/N: And I can't believe I'm about to say this either but I can finally, truly say, like so many other authors so very much greater than I, that the best plots (or lack, thereof) come from personal experience.

And as long as you don't ask, I won't tell.

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Angeal knew where to find him.

If Genesis wasn't in his personal quarters, in the VR Room, or on a mission, he was on the roof of the Shinra building. He had reasoned the place out to be the auburn man's 'thinking spot'.

He pushed the door open and was unsurprised at the wind that almost tried to brush him off the building. There wa a large air conditioning unit situated rigt right in the center of the roof and the wind was going East so...

Angeal took the few steps it took to bring him to the side of the machine that was shelted from the gusting winds. And there was his red-clad friend, looking back at him with a half-surprised expression and a smal,l rolled up piece of paper about half-way to his lips.

Angeal rolled his eyes and scratched the back of his head befoe moving to sit down beside the other man. Genesis smiled and offered the paper to him, eyebrows lifting a little. Angeal gave him a look and Genesis just grinned and used the lighter in his other hand to reignite the smouldering end of the wrap.

Of course he knew about Gen's little hobby. It wasn't like any of the lower ranking members didn't do the same...and then some. Gen only did it when he had something he didn't much care to think about. Though he'd kind of expected the man to come back from some mission in Cosmo Canyon with at least _some_ tale. Angeal just waited for him to speak.

Almost 20 minutes later, when the paper roll had been reduced to roughly the size of a pinky nail and Gen was begining to have some trouble holding it, did the auburn man break the silence, smushing out the lit end of the thing between two saliva-slickened fingers. "Hey, you ever seen those pictures of guys with two-inch dicks?" He asked, tucking the paper into one of his pockets.

Angeal blinked and rubbed his face. Of course he'd seen _those _kinds of pictures. Hard not to see any and evey soft of thing when it came to the fact that the majority of Shinra recruits were teenagers. And the fact that, when not being used properly, their cell phones were confiscateable by anyone who outranked them. And far be it from Angeal to stop Gen from satisfying his curiousity when he heard some rather..._interesting_ stories. Midgar had done it's fair share of corrupting just about any inno-well, maybe not quite "innocent" youth that had come there from the country. Gen had already been well on his way.  
"I guess. Why?" Oh...he did not like where this was going to go.

Gen smirked and giggled a little, bringing one hand up in an effort to hide the act he would have never committed in the presence of any other.

"Well, you see, there was this guy at the base out there-"

'Oh no,' Angeal's brain began tying to consciously block out what the other was saying.

"-he was about three feet taller than me, probably two wider too," Gen spaced his hands in emphasis, "HUGE fucker, but he was all built and stuff-"

Beep, beep, brain being broken, tying to ignore-

"-So he kept giving me The Look-"

Wait...two foot _wider_? Wow...

"-and he pushed his pants down and sat back against the back seat-"

Seat? Did he say something about a car?

"-and I went to go down on him and," Gen started laughing-cracking up, actually-"he...he," Gen held up his hand, his index finger and thumb spaced roughly three inches apart.

Angeal couldn't help it, he snorted. Gen buried his face against the others arm, visibly shaking with his laughter.

"So-" Angeal started, trying to prompt more of the story.

"'So'?"

"So, how'd you get out of that one?"

"Oh...I didn't. I still did it, yeah, but I couldn't finish him off. He chalked it up to stamina," Gen said, shaking his head.

"He didn't want to do more?"

"Well...I don't know, I told him maybe some other time and left."

Angeal smirked at him.

"What?" Gen grinned back, "I'm not letting _that_ go in _me_. He wasn't ever cut. Nasty. I'm still trying to get the smell off."

Angeal finally laughed, earning more high-induced laughing from th auburn man.

"I'm serious! I about gagged so many times times I'm surprised he didn't catch on sooner. And I really was expecting...well, _more_ from such a big guy.

They fell into silence for some time, Angeal simply smiling and Gen still relatively grinning his ass off, fighting off small spasms of giggles every few seconds.

"Hey," Angeal said, Gen's blue eyes peered at him.

"Do you think that's why the Shinra buildings are so tall?"

End

--------------------woos, I's a dotted line---------------------------------

I wanted to have this done to Zack at first and then Gen and Angeal wandered into my mind. And I just like screwing with Gen. I really do.


End file.
